Christmas and my big Failure

I Love Christmas. I love this season and everything about it. I wish it was 2 months long, because it never lasts long enough. I love driving and looking at Christmas lights. I love making or buying things for the people I love. I love reading the Christmas story to Sophia. I love Christmas music, traditional and new. I love having our house smell like pine. I love decorating the tree. I love actually being in a house this year and putting lights up outside. I loved taking Sophia to see Santa. I love Christmas dresses. I love baking cookies, brownies, and anything else I can. I love making gingerbread houses and smelling the frosting, candy, and sugar overload everytime I bend over it. I love the clear, freezing cold days. I love the family get togethers during this season. I love all the Christmas sweets. I love Christmas books. I love watching Miracle on 34th St., White Christmas, and Elf. I. LOVE. CHRISTMAS. Thank you Father for sending your Son and for this wonderful holiday that brings me so much joy.

I have become a busy mom and a bad blogger. I will try to do better at blogging more often...It reminds me of my diary when I was growing up. I would do well at writing often for a while, then I wouldn't write in forever and for some reason, I would apologize and say I would do better. And here I am, at 27, somewhat doing the same thing.

So, I failed as a wife big time this month. My husband turned 40, which is a big birthday and any human knows that a large or very special celebration should be had. Well, for some reason, I spaced it. I knew it was his birthday. I knew he was turning 40. I got him the present he wanted. However, I definitely did not make my husband feel special. I. Failed. I did not make the meal I was planning on making on the day we were supposed to celebrate (the day after) because I for some reason thought we were doing it the next day. I feel like my brain does not work at times. It is as though the prego brain never left me. Well, it can leave ANYTIME!! I just feel awful. I would have totally planned something big if we had the money, but we definitely do not right now and there is no excuse except, I failed. Will the guilt ever go away?? I suppose being a mom for the first time keeps me distracted and busy, but I have to make it up to him....He is so wonderful and special and I appreciate and love him so much. I am sure I will update on this later because this will not end with me failing as a wife...lol.

Sophia, my sweet little munchkin, is pretty much the happiest baby in the world. She does not stop smiling. I smile so much when I am with her that my cheeks hurt. I take way too many pictures, I record her constantly, and I stare at her nonstop. And the kissing of her cheeks is out of control. LOVE my girl. Here is her 4 month picture....

First picture we took too, look at that happy girl in her fun little outfit... I am so blessed.
We did have to get her shots today and it is my LEAST favorite thing in the world. Watching my girl scream out in pain is heart wrenching. But she only cried for less than a minute, then went into a long talking/scolding of mom for 5 minutes while I held her. It was hilarious. She was seriosusly "talking" about something and I am pretty sure I was in trouble. Hilarious. She is getting her first tooth, too soon if you ask me. The baby orajel has been a lifesaver for the few times the teething hurts her. The only positive of the teething is she has slept with mommy in bed a few times after dad goes to work. That is so fun, having her wake up next to me just smiling and being all goofy. I am in love with my girl. I am excited for her first Christmas.

Christian and I are total Christmas dorks. We can NOT go into a store around Christmas season without getting Christmas stuff, even when we do not need it. This year, we were better than most, but we did take some fun pictures of Sophia IN the store rather than buying, to attempt SOME self control....

AND Sophia got to go see Santa this year. My mom bought her a Christmas dress along with her two cousins Aubrey and Juliet and we all went to see Santa. He was SO nice and I loved his litle get-up. Juliet, who is 3, was walking with us across the street on our way to the mall, and some nice ladies stopped to compliment the girls on their pretty Christmas dresses. Juliet said something about going to see Santa Claus and how he takes his pants off!!! LOL. We almot DIED. No idea WHAT she was talking about, probably some movie or Youtube clip (Thanks Christy, lol) with a joke where Santa's pants fall down but to strangers on the street, it did not sound good. But what  a laugh!! Here is the photo..NO TEARS!!

Baptism, Christmas, Work

A couple weeks ago Christian was baptized. It was amazing! My mom, dad, sister Lindy, bro in law Dan, nephews and brother all came!! He has been a Christian for many years but had yet to be baptized. Hearing him tell his testimony and also talk about the wonderful influence of my family and I, specifically my dad, was so touching. Christian is such an amazing husband, friend, and father. I am so glad I was able to experience his baptism with him and my family.

This is Christian and our awesome Pastor Craig

Sophia has been growing up SOOOO fast, it is unbelievable!! What a little chatter box. She absolutely loves to be naked, that is when she talks the most. :) She also loves to stand and sit, stand and sit, stand and sit. I can not get enough of this girl!!! She makes me smile and I smother her with kisses so often I think she is getting annoyed. :) Jessica helps so much with her, and Dylan is getting better at not just staring at her but interacting  as well :) Great older siblings and Sophia just LOVES anytime they are around. She especially loves her dad. If he is home and talking, she is staring at him and SMILING so BIG! It makes me so happy.

Happy kids = Happy mom.



As you can see, we are already in the Christmas mood and have all our decorations up!! We always TRY and wait until after Thanksgiving but does not always happen. We are even done with most of our shopping....I love this Holiday SO MUCH! The music, the lights, the warmth, the tree, the family time.....It makes me so happy! And since I have been on this baking kick, this is the first year that our house is smelling extra yummy from all the treats. We don't have a fireplace but we got this "Fire" dvd from my mom and put that on the tv, and it seriously warms up our home!! LOVE IT. I can't wait until Thanksgiving Thursday, although Emily and Christy will both be MIA. :( I am making the Turkey this year too!!
Last Thanksgiving I was "late" for my time of the month and was skyping with Christy and told her I was going to take a pregnancy test soon...Little did we know! Christmas time last year, Sophia was a tiny little blueberry. This year has truly flown by! This is our first year in a house so we are excited to decorate a litte outside, always makes things even more cheery driving up to a house with lights.

I have returned to work two days a week, and so far it is going well. It is so nice to see my friends! It is also nice to make some money and be somewhat active again. However, it is only getting harder to leave my baby girl every time I have to work. I pout big time. I have plenty of pictures and videos on my camera to help, but of course, it is not the same!! Christian and the kids have so much fun watching her though. And since she is pretty much on a schedule, I think that helps too.

Baby, Tween, Teenager

My daily life is anything but predictable. Living in a home with a 3 month old baby, an 11 year old girl (very tween-ish at this time), and a 13 year old teenage boy gives me a variety of situations, conversations, and emotions.

This week my sweet girl had her 3 month birthday. She is growing up so fast and has become quite the fun baby with a hilarious, smiley personality the older she gets. She is grabbing her rattles, toy links, hands, clothes, hair, and blankets constantly. She loves her playmat and can sit on there for 30 minutes and be perfectly content, just chatting away, squeaking, smiling and laughing. She loves her dad, brother, and sister very much. She is always staring and smiling at them, and dad taught her how to make silly noises with her lips. :) We attemped to get her "3 Month" pictures throughout the day but every time we got her dressed she either got hungry or tired. At the end of the day it was bath time so we figured we would just take a picture after her bath when she is her happiest. With her cute ducky! LOVE my girl...

Jessica is growing up so fast. Even from 5th to 6th grade I can see her showing more independent tendencies. Although, she rarely likes to be alone. :) She prefers to be where the action is. :) I am worried that her being in a Jr. High with not only 7th and 8th graders but also 6th graders who think they are adults is one reason for this sudden "aging" in her, but I know she has a great head on her shoulders and has a good, innocent, goofy group of girls at school. We had some issues with her report card and grades this week, because she is a really smart girl but does not apply herself. However, this issue has already improved and I am so proud of her for sticking with it when things were crappy! She struggles with math so I told her if she gets a B in Math I will teach her to shave her legs now instead of waiting for Summer. I am pretty sure I will be teaching her soon, OH. MY. GOSH. That is gonna be so surreal. Any tips??? :) She keeps me company while I cook dinner, telling me all about her classes, friends, etc. It is nice to hear her talk about things and already kind of notice ways she does not want to be with the many examples of slutty, catty girls at school. She has made some great friends at church too, which makes me really happy! The only real frustration is her not using her head at times, and it just takes some reminding and she is good to go. She is really a great girl! I am blessed to have her as my daughter.  



Jessica and her best friend Denise.

They remind me a lot of myself at that age, always laughing.

Oh boy is Dylan a full blown teenager! Dylan is a great kid and always has been. We are very blessed that he is not as bad as so many teenagers I have come across. He is 4.0 student and We are so proud of him! Girl issues have arrived sooner than I would have liked. He is not allowed to date until he is 16, even the  "going out" of Jr. high is not okay with us cause all it does is ruin friendships, distract and hurt. However, he has not obeyed this rule and has been pretty "down" becasue of a couple break ups. It is hard, especially these days, to regulate this rule since EVERYONE has a girlfriend or boyfriend at young ages, but we are hoping he will start just focusing on friendships. We have been having the kids go to youth group on Sunday nights and they are having a lot of fun, and I am hoping Dylan can make some good Christan friends since the friends at his school just might not be the best influences :) I am reading a book on raising a Christian teenager that my sister gave me to read and it has really helped in certain situations. Although, I feel like it is the most difficult thing I have ever done, and I know Christian would agree. The range of emotions Dylan is dealing with is mind boggling. Especially having grown up with 3 sisters, I am so clueless. I am learning more and more every day on how to be a better mom to a teenage boy. Prayers are DEFINITELY appreciated!! I am excited for track season to start because he LOVES to run and really enjoys track and does well. It is so fun going to the meets. I think we are going to try and get Jess to do a couple of events this year. :)

I am truly blessed with such great kids. The cranky days of Sophia and days of attitude from Jess and Dylan are all worth it when we have those moments of smiles, hugs, showing appreciation or just seeing that they retained something said or taught them. :) I could not do it without the help and guidance of my family and my Lord.



Fall Happiness

If I could live in a place where it had the season of Fall all year round, and I could take all my loved ones with me, I would move there in a second!!
I love fall so much. I love the crisp air. I love the smell of pumpkin pie, apple crisp, cornbread, homemade soup and chili, and everything else that is made primarily in the fall. I love the coffee flavors that arrive in the fall: gingerbread latte, pumpkin spice latte, and peppermint mocha. I love wearing sweatshirts, scarves, hats, sweats, and slippers. I love going on walks and not sweating to death. I love the color of trees and the leaves that crunch under my feet. I love how the air smells in the fall. I love Thanksgiving. I love decorating my house for "Harvest" and "Thanksgiving" (not Halloween) with pumpkins, gourds, and candles. I love making apple cider and hot chocolate with marshmellows (or Marflofs as my little brother used to call them) for the kids. I love baking cookies all the time and sneaking them into the kids' lunches or taking them up to Vancouver for my family. I love cuddling up in cozy blankets. I love the smell of a fire in a fireplace. I. Love. Fall.

I Love My Nieces

So my sister Emily has moved to Salem, which I love because the rest of my family lives in Vancouver (or Egypt for another month and a half) so it is nice to have one sister nearby. I also love it because I get to see my two nieces, Aubrey and Juliet, often and have them around Sophia. I want her to grow up close to her cousins like I grew up close to mine. I babysit Aubrey and Juliet twice a week while Emily works and boy has this brought me lots of laughs. I wish I could record the things these girls say that just makes me laugh so much. Aubrey is 5 and Juliet is 3 and they are so entertaining! They arrived at 5:30am the other day and I had them crawl in bed with me and watch cartoons while I closed my eyes for a little bit longer...15 minutes later, they are getting up with their books and sitting on the foot part of the glider rocking chair. Aubrey looks at me and goes, "Mary, don't you want to take a picture of us? It's cute when we sit together like this." LOL. Hilarious. So of course, I did....

The next day, Emily dropped them off and Juliet was wearing this old, white beanie that I am pretty sure came from our childhood. Emily said when she went to wake the girls up, Juliet was sleeping in it. She kept the beanie on for most the day, and it looks so cute! They had to take turns holding Sophia, which I loved. And of course, Aubrey wanted me to take pictures of them holding her....so of course, I DID!!

I love these 3 girls so much.



Back to Work

In two days I am going back to work. The good news: my warehouse manager has agreed to give me limited part-time and only make me work Fridays and Saturdays, and if I want more days I can ask for them. The bad news: I will be away from my sweet girl for 4+ hours, 2 days a week. I am dreading it!! I am truly blessed to only have to work for those 2 days as long as we can afford it, but I wish I did not have to go to work. I grew up with a mom who stayed home, took care of the home, took us to school, made dinner every night and spent her time being a wonderful mom and wife. It is rare these days and I really wish I could do that. I know the kids are going to be just fine with Christian, but man I am going to miss my family. I have loved being here every day when the kids get home from school, asking them about their day and hearing about the lovely Jr. High stories :) I know I will still have those days throughout the week, and for that I am SO greatful! I also do not know how I will survive being away from Sophia. Oh my goodness I am going to cry the first day I leave her. If you think of it, please pray for this transition. I know that moms do it all the time, but wow this is gonna be TOUGH!! *sigh*

It's the Little Things

So, yesterday morning I woke up a little cranky. It was Sunday morning and I was excited to get Sophia all dressed up and go to church, but Sunday mornings are always a little stressful trying to get ready and juggle everyone showering and add a baby in that mix and it tends to stress me out. So...Christian sensed that I was a little cranky. While I was showering quickly and without enough hot water to shave, I am complaining in my head. All of a sudden I look up.....

Seeing this sweet face not only scared me and made me jump, but immediately made me laugh and smile. She was smiling and giggling and my mood instantly changed. I am so thankful for the little things like this that make me put things back into perspective. :) And also, I am thankful for a husband that knows just what I need to make me laugh...

The Love of a Stepmom

     Everyone always says how hard it is to be a step-parent. And of course, they are right. But it is also absolutely wonderful! I truly love my two "stepchildren". I do not see them as being step-kids though, I see them as my children. I always felt that I love Jessica and Dylan as if they were my own. I sacrifice for them as if they are my own. I care about them deeply and I truly want what is best for them. The moment God showed me the need for those children to have a mom, I feel as though I jumped in willing to be used by the Lord, and I have never looked back.

     However, I was a little worried that when I actually gave birth to my own child that things would change. I felt that it could easily change for the worse, because of a new addition to the family and just the dynamic between Christian and them or them and me. But I also felt that maybe, just maybe, me having a baby will be beneficial to the relationship between us. I mean, I loved them the best I could, but I was constantly learning. I wondered if the birth of Sophia would help me be an even better mom to the kids! I hear all the time how strained relationships can be between the step-children and the new child or the parents, but my goal was and is to not allow that to happen!

     And now, since Sophia has been born, I think the Lord has truly blessed this family. I feel even more connected to Jessica and Dylan. It is as though I love them even more now. There are definitely still moments of frustration, but that is them being "teenagers" more than anything. :) They see Sophia as their sister, not their half-sister. I have 3 children, 1 whom I gave birth to. Our family is wonderful and I am truly thankful for the closeness that has come through the birth of Sophia. In addition to the dynamic between the kids and I being great, every time I see Christian with Sophia, I fall in love with him more and more.

     Our first family outing since Sophia has been born, other than church or the store, was to the Pumpkin Patch at EZ Orchards. It was so fun!! Christian had been up since 3 for work and still went with us! Dylan did not act "too cool" like I was worried he might. Jess was just as excited as I was about everything! :) Sophia just hung out, looked around, did not cry once, and totally passed out. We went to the petting zoo, picked out pumpkins and gourds (or "orgs" as Jess kept calling them LOL), ate yummy apple cider donuts, went in a corn maze, and laughed a lot! Pretty sure my cheeks were sore from all the laughing. It was so refreshing and fun to spend an afternoon with my family.

Obciously thrilled to be posing in this thing

So excited!!

All muddy and happy as can be!

I tried to get that large munchkin head in there with me

Long day for babygirl

Posing for more pictures and not complaining one bit

Adorable

My favorite one of those 3

Sophia's first little pumpkin

In the corn maze

I wanted to climb to the top but we felt that would not be a good idea

There's my pumpkin!!

I Never Thought...

I love being a mom. I love talking to my mom about being a mom. I love thinking of things my mom did and putting them to practice in my own life. I love the example my own mother was and is to me. I never thought I would be comparing strategies on raising a teenager WITH my mom. :) God's plans are always so perfect, yet if He tells us his plan before we are ready to hear it, we would think He is crazy. If someone told me 12 years ago that I would be raising a teenager at the same time as my own mother, I would have laughed in their face. However, I LOVE IT! It makes it such a wonderful experience having the most amazing mother not only helping me along the way, but going through such similar situations with me. She calls me when there is something from Dr. Dobson on the radio about raising teenagers. She talks to me about things that worked for her. I talk to her about what I am doing and we discuss things that we both can do better. Although I never thought I would be doing this, I would not want it any other way!!

How About Some Details

My family

I figure I might as well give a litle information to those who are reading this who may have not talked to me in a while, or just do not know me that well. I am married to an amazing man named Christian. We have been together for 5 1/2 years and married for 16 months. We have a baby girl named Sophia who was born in July. We have full custody of his two children Dylan, who is 13 and Jessica, who is 11 and raising them for the past 3 1/2 years has been a lot of fun and a lot of learning. :)  I have 3 sisters and 1 brother who mean the world to me. I am very close to my siblings and my mom and dad. Being an aunt is SO FUN!! I have 2 nieces and 2 nephews who bring me so much joy. I am taking some time off school to be a mom, but I am almost done with school to become an elementary school teacher. I work at Costco, and Christian does as well. I miss playing soccer every day and if I am not playing it, usually indoor :), I am dreaming about it. I look forward to getting back into it soon!! I LOVE old, hardback books. I love the Lord and am amazed at the work He is constantly doing in my life and the lives of those around me. I am thankful He has had so much grace on me in spite of my many mistakes. If it were not for my relationship with Him, I would not be the woman I am today.

Miss Sophia

This is my baby girl, Sophia LaMae. I will be talking about her a lot. Possibly too much. She has a lot of nicknames already: Fia (given to her by her 3 year old cousin Juliet), Soph, Sophie, Munchkin, Smooshy, Munchy, Baby bear, Baby Boulder, and Sophie Mae. I am in love with this girl.

My first blog

Well hello :)

I am writing my first post on my first blog. As you can see, it is a rough start. I am unsure of all the little details but I figure it will all come with time and practice. I love reading blogs! I never saw myself as interesting enough to write a blog but then I felt that I may as well just try :) I chose the title because that is pretty much what I will be writing about: the many hats I wear...My life is focused on those I love. I am not crafty or creative so as much as I LOVE to read about those things and DIY projects, I don't do them. I love to read so I might talk about books. I love pictures so I will be posting a ton. I love my family, friends, and Jesus. I love being a mom. I love being a wife. I am extremely blessed and happy. Thank you for joining me in this new journey! Any feedback is appreciated because I am SO new to this!!!